Doctor Who, Minecraft, and a Donkey Named “Danger”

As you all know, we’re nerds.  Big ol’ sci-fi, video game, comic book loving nerds.  We’ve raised The Peeshwank to follow in our footsteps because, let’s face it, nerds are the best.

So this series of conversations made me laugh a lot more than it probably should have…

In the car:

P: Danger is dead!

Me: Excuse me?

P: Danger.  He’s my donkey in Minecraft. [He assured me it was NOT a reference to Anthony Weiner, although he giggled a lot when Joe asked him if the donkey’s first name was Carlos.]

Me: Oh.  What happened?

P: Well, he was just standing there when Jerk McCrapface came up and murdered him.  Murdered him!  Right there in front of my house!

Me: I’m sorry.  Why did you let… um… Jerk McCrapface come to your house.

P: He told me he was a Doctor Who fan, so I let him teleport to me.  But I think he must’ve been lying.  A true Whovian would never kill another Whovian’s donkey, would he?

Me: No.  Absolutely not.


Rest in peace, Danger.

Later in the library:

P: I still can’t believe that guy killed Danger.  I’m so mad.

Even later in the living room:

P: I’m gonna find the guy that killed Danger and raid his home.  He’ll be sorry he ever laid a finger on my donkey.

"Hello.  My name is P-dog Jenkins.  You killed my donkey.  Prepare to die."

“Hello. My name is P-dog Jenkins. You killed my donkey. Prepare to die.”

At dinner:

P: I’m still so mad.

Me: Well, how did he kill the donkey? I can’t imagine it’s very easy to kill a donkey.  They seem pretty resilient.

P: He punched him in the face until he was dead.

Joe: So, he was beating a dead horse?

Me: [giggle snorting laughter]

P: What?  I don’t get it.

Everything I need to know about Minecraft I learned from eavesdropping.

My boys (40-something and 11) have been sucked into Minecraft.

My writing nook is situated in such a way that I get to hear their conversations as I facebook twitter play plants vs. zombies work on my next novel.

Some overheard snippets of their conversations:

Preston: “Why don’t I have anything?”

Joe: “You have to punch a tree.  That starts your industry.”


Preston: “This is a nice house.”

Joe: “It’s just a room.  With a trunk.  And a duck.”

Preston: “I made that duck.”

Joe: “It’s a nice duck.”

(5 minutes later.)

Joe: “ACK!”

Preston: “What?”

Joe: “The duck pushed me into the lava!”

I'd sleep with one eye open if I were you...


Preston: “Look at me.  Now look at Joe.  Now look at me.  I’m on a pig.”


Joe: “Why do you have a bed on the very edge like that?!?”

Preston: “I live on the edge!”

Joe: “Well, don’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed.”


Preston: “Oh no, the pig is here!!!”

The pig knows what you did...


Preston: “Did you find lava today?”

Joe: “Yes.”

Preston: “Lucky.  I found lava the other day, but there was a chicken…”  (quiet angsty mumbling)  “…stupid chicken.”


P’s friend C: “Where are you?”

Preston: “In my treehouse.”

P’s friend C: “Cool.  That’s a big tree.  Be careful!  That jockey skeleton can totally get into your house.”


Preston: “I’m going to blow this lava up.”

Joe: “Why?”

Preston: “To see if it makes it go away.”

(30 seconds later)




So basically, Minecraft is a game in which you can ride around on nefarious pigs, punch trees to get stuff, skeletons are short guys that ride racehorses that can climb trees, and birds are a-holes who will push you into lava.  (Much like in real life I might add.  Birds are evil, y’all.)

And then there’s this:

This house is not a home...

G4 is totally going to hire me to be a stand-in for Morgan Webb now.  After all we’re both brunette, totally hot, and geeky.  Well, two out of three ain’t bad.