The Peeshwank: Silly White Kid to Siamese Prince

Most of you know, The Peeshwank is currently appearing in “The King and I” at one of our local theaters.  A lot of people have asked for pics of the young one’s transformation from pasty, bespectacled white kid into a Siamese Prince.  I’m nothing if not accommodating, so here you go:

Step 1: Take one REALLY white kid.  Blonde hair, blue eyes, the works.

aIMG_3419Step 2: Dye his hair appropriately.

He grabbed a blanket to cover up, so as not to blind us all.

He grabbed a blanket to cover up, so as not to blind us all.

Step 3: Cut hair into a mohawk and spike.  (Got 2 B hairspray is the best for this portion of the program.)

Step 4: Crazy eye make-up.  Liquid liner is the only way to go.

Still looking a little goth though...

Still looking a little goth though…

Step 4: Spray tan the munchkin.

Still not quite there…

Step 5: Add a blingy costume and a couple of other Siamese Prince photobombers and VOILA!  Transformation complete!

Now go get tickets to come see the show and marvel at the majesty of it all: the singing, the dancing, the costumes, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera!

The Peeshwank: Superhero or Crazed Villainous Overlord?

The Peeshwank turned 13 this year which is a cause for much excitement in our household.  Every nerd worth his mettle knows that the teen years are when your superpowers reveal themselves.  For The Peeshwank, this happened on our recent trip to Michigan…

The Peeshwank has participated in Odyssey of the Mind for a number of years now.  He comes from a long line of OMers – I having joined a team in ’84, and had it been around when my parents were in school my father would’ve been the king of Problems 1, 2, and 4, while my mother would’ve ruled over Problems 3 and 5.  This year The Peeshwank’s team won our state championship and made their way to World Finals at Michigan State University where they competed against teams from all over the world.  (And came in 25th in their division of almost 60 teams.  Top half!  Woohoo!)

After coming out of their Spontaneous competition we hosed the kids with silly string, bubbles and Hog calls then gave them Starbucks to refresh themselves.  Something in that combination must’ve set off something in The Peeshwank, because moments later this happened…005 (2)We knew a growth spurt would be coming soon, so we didn’t think much of it, until this happened…

004 (2) A Force Choke, Pdog?  Really?  Paul is your friend!

Then he turned his powers on his entire team and punched the ground.  The aftermath was too gruesome to show here.  Michigan State sent us packing after buildings started to crumble.  We’ve also been added to the “no-fly” list.  (These things may or may not be true.)

IMG_1904We’re a little concerned at this point.

72-Hour Movie-Making

This month is our city’s Artsfest.  Every year they host a 72-hour film challenge (The 4320 Film Challenge) and every year The Peeshwank and I take our talents and join a team of fellow guerrilla filmmakers to come up with something we pray entertains the masses.  (“Masses” meaning the couple hundred or so people who come out to the screening.)

This year, we partnered with three of my favorite lady friends and our offspring to make a movie.

I was elected Team Captain.  (“Elected” meaning I engaged in a coup d’ etat and completely took over.)  I went to the captain meeting Friday evening at 4:00 where I was told the specifics of the movie to be made this year.  We had to film at least one scene on our downtown square and the movie had to center around the theme word “challenge.”  I took a look at our cast – a teenage girl, 4 tweens, and a 4-year-old.  Yep.  That takes care of the “challenge” portion of the program.  Our camera guy fell through, so we ended up shooting it on my point and shoot camera.  (Yeah, we’re totally legit like that, as The Peeshwank would say).  That would be challenge #2.  Oh, and sound on our square?  Every movie we’ve made down there had the overwhelming sound of the fountain drowning out every bit of dialogue spoken.

Challenge accepted.

I wrote and storyboarded a movie that involved kids acting like turds all over downtown (this is known in the industry as “typecasting”) and getting kicked out of various establishments (up to and including our amazing new art museum, Crystal Bridges).  We filmed it as a video blog by the teen girl, so the video quality could be forgivable.  The most genius part, though?  We decided to do a silent film.  Oh, that pesky, loud fountain?  Not an issue any longer.

We spent all day Saturday filming and in another stroke of genius I had the final scene take place at our downtown splash park.  All day, when we wanted the kids to behave, we just reminded them, “Splash park later.”  (Fact: Bribery is the best way to get children to do what you want.)

We spent the next two nights in our friends’ studio, recording our lead’s voiceovers and editing the film.  We drank a lot and laughed so hard we probably should’ve deployed Depends, but at the end of the 72 hours, we had a movie and we kinda like it. It’s not professional by any stretch (other than Darryl’s awesome editing skills, yo) but we had a ton of fun doing it.

Without further ado, I give you…

“Happy Birthday or Bust!”

Take-Your-Kid-to-Work Day: A Conversation

The Peeshwank jumped in the car at the bus stop.  I could tell he was excited despite the absence of my purse in the passenger’s seat.  (The purse means we are going to Sonic for Happy Hour drinks.  No purse = No Sonic, which usually elicits extreme grumpiness from the end of the street to the house.)

Me: So, what’s up, P?

Peeshwank: Can I stay home tomorrow?

Me: Why?

Peeshwank: Because it’s Take Your Kid to Work Day and you work at home.

Oh crap.

I guess it was bound to happen eventually, but still.  Remember when it was just Take Your DAUGHTER to Work Day?  Yeah, those were good times.  I could send my little man off to school under the whole “Sorry-you’re-not-a-girl” guise.  Now what do I do?

So I told him he could stay home as long as he writes when I write.  When we’re done, we’d edit, revise, and rewrite.  Then we could track sales on our dashboard, do some Twittering to other authors, check out Publisher’s Weekly to make sure our work is still on trend in the market, and send off our entries to all the Spring writing contests.

He scoffed and said, “Never. Mind.”

Over dinner, we went into negotiations.  He agreed to chronicle his day shadowing me which will be featured as a guest blog here tomorrow.  Possibly.  If it’s not too incriminating.  If it is worthy of being read by the masses.

So, I’m going through my daily routine to see how I can make it an enriching experience for The Peeshwank and I think I’m going to have to rearrange things a bit.  You see, my current schedule looks like this:

6:00 – 6:21: Check Facebook/Email

6:21: Put boy on bus

6:25 – 7:00: Nap Write

7:00ish – 8:00ish: Run on treadmill while watching Sportscenter

8:00 – 8:30: Shower, dishes, laundry

8:30 – 11:00: Drink a pot of coffee while reading

11:00: Eat some wheat thins while reading

Noon: go to Sam’s/Wal-Mart and get irritated with all of humanity

2:00: Read some more while dozing off occasionally

3:30: Wine time

Drunk-thirty: LOTS OF WRITING

You see my dilemma?  I know, I know.  Taking the kid to Sam’s is like the LEAST enriching thing I could do tomorrow.