I’m Back!

Heavens to Betsy, that was a long hiatus.  I apologize for my complete disregard of this place while I was busy doing… er… stuff like napping, writing, saving the world, and trying to refrain from selling The Peeshwank in order to purchase a new pair of Louboutins.  But mostly napping.

Here’s what you missed out on since February…

The Oscars:

Joe: So how were the Oscars?

Me:  They were okay, but the best moment?  When Gary Oldman transformed into his animagus, ran onstage and bit Jean Dujardin’s ankle, scooped up the Oscar and flew off on his hippogriff while flipping the bird with his little black paw.

Joe: ???

Me: What?  Did that part not make it on tv?  Censorship sucks.  Damn the man!  Save the Empire!

March Madness:

Announcer: They ruled that an intentional foul.

Charles Barkley: I didn’t see any intentionality behind that foul.

Me: I think the word you’re looking for is “intent”, Chuck!*

Joe: Are you yelling at the tv again?

(*Yes, I know that ‘intentionality’ is a word.  Intent just works better – and actually means what Sir Charles intended for it to mean.  I hate it when people try to megaovercomplicatealize words. It makes them sound extrapompousilicious.  See?)

IMDB:

Me: Peeshwank, you’re on IMDB!  Your first IMDB listing… I’m so proud.

Peeshwank: Cool!  …Um… what’s that?

Firefly mini-reunion (via Castle):

Me: WHAT?  What do you mean tonight’s a re-run?!  Tonight was supposed to be the episode where Jayne shows up and he and Captain Mal are all reunited and it feels so good, then they go fight crime and Beckett gets all pissy and stuff!

Joe: Are you yelling at the tv again?

Every day doesn’t have to be a holiday

Peeshwank: So, if Monday was Peanut Butter and Jelly Day and tomorrow is Rex Manning Day, what is today?

Me: (singing) It’s Friday!  (<— Whatever you do, DON’T click that.)

Early morning despair:

Me: (reading aloud) Hints of floral notes with a touch of caramel.  Delightful berry undertones accentuate the… WHEN DID COFFEE GET SO DAMNED PRETENTIOUS?

Joe: Are you yelling at the coffee maker again?

Making a book trailer:

Me: You know, Jenny Lawson did her book trailer with Wil Wheaton.

Joe: So, are you gonna ask him to do one with you as well?

Me: Nah.  I’ve already tweeted Nathan Fillion about it.

Joe: But I don’t trust you with him.

Me: So, you’re saying you’d trust me with Wesley Crusher?

Joe: Well, yeah, he’s Wesley Crusher.  What’s not to trust?

Me: Apparently you haven’t seen this.

Peeshwank in the background: WHEEEEEATONNNNNNNN!  (This is only funny if you watch Big Bang Theory.)

 (I’m still awaiting a reply, both from Joe and Cap’n.)

In addition to getting bent out of shape about completely meaningless things and juggling between my two boyfriends (Joe and Captain Mal), I also finished up a very rough first draft of “The Last Girl”.  I’m working on the final draft of my next book, due out in June, God willing.  I also had an essay selected to be included in a compilation that’s coming out January 2013  (“The Books They Gave Me” – Free Press, an imprint of Simon and Schuster).  So that’s all kinda cool and exciting.

I also read/re-read a lot of books the past couple of months.  All of which were very good, each for very different reasons.  If you’re interested, here’s a list (wanna discuss any of them? Leave a comment, email, or facebook me):  Oryx and Crake; The Year of The Flood; Water For Elephants; The Hunger Games series; The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series; Cool, Calm and Contentious; Bird by Bird; On Writing; Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter; Good Poems for Hard Times; 1Q84; 11/22/63; Perfume: The Story of a Murderer; The Reader; The Road; That Old Ace in the HoleLife of Pi; Girl With a Pearl Earring; Point Omega.

I promise I’ll try to do better by y’all and start updating more frequently again.

Besides, I’ve been seeing an abnormally large number of people misusing grammar everywhere, so I suspect my “Fun With Homonyms” posts have been sincerely missed.

I’ll leave you with this… (because isn’t every day better with sci-fi mash-ups?)