I decided awhile back to grow my hair to donate to Locks of Love or some other similar wigs-for-cancer-patients charity.  My hair grows really fast, so I figured I’d let it grow a little while, cut it, and smile in the fact that I’ve done something nice for someone else.

But right when I was ready to get back to my normal just-under-the-chin length, the better half let me know that he really liked it long.  So I decided to continue growing it, that way when I cut the requisite 12″ off to donate, I would still have enough length to keep him happy.

I realized this weekend just how far I’ve let it go…

So, here are some signs you need to pick up the phone and make an emergency call to your stylist:

5. You have to pin it up to go to the bathroom.  (Sitting down on the ends is one thing. Sitting down on them on the potty… EWWW!  Disclaimer: This has NOT happened to me personally.  Swear.)

4. It gets caught in your waist band when getting dressed.  (I wore a tie-back dress the other day and damn-near gave myself whiplash when I bent down to put on my shoes.)

3. Your shampoo budget rivals the car payment.  (The better half figured out that I had been dipping into his shampoo stash.  It’s hard to sneak increased hair product usage past someone who has very little hair to speak of.)

2. You’d put your hair in a cute sock bun, but when you pull it straight up, you can’t reach the ends.  (Two words: arm cramps.)

and…

1. The last time you saw your stylist was right before she went on maternity leave.  Her “baby” is now two.  (Actually she’s almost 2 and 1/2, but who’s counting?)

I think the better half will be okay with my decision to go back to my usual short length.  I suspect he’s tired of getting slapped in the face with half-wet hair every time I toss and turn at night.  I’m sure the fact that I start singing “I whip my hair back and forth” whenever it happens doesn’t help matters either.

Hi, I’m here for my 1:30 shampoo, cut and style.

I Whip My Hair Back and Forth (the best version)