The Peeshwank and The Lyrids: A Conversation

English: A meteor during the peak of the 2009 ...

Living in a science-loving home we are all about meteor showers, comets, eclipses and all sorts of other night sky phenomena.  The Peeshwank will drag the telescope out to the front yard to try to view all sorts of things.  (Usually this takes place on the coldest nights of the year.  Of course.)

This week, the Lyrid meteor shower promised to entertain us for a night.  So we bundled up and took our place in the driveway and waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.

P: You know, on nights like these we should really live out in the the country.

Me: Yeah, the lights in town make it hard to see anything.

P:  And if we’re out in the country watching for meteor showers that aren’t gonna show up, at least we wouldn’t have neighbors around wondering, “What are those idiots doing laying in the driveway again?”

Touche`, Peeshwank.

On The Peeshwank’s Birthday: Be A Light

This morning as we made our way to school, I reminded The Peeshwank that they were having a lockdown drill, so pay attention, listen for instructions, etc.

P: Is my birthday always going to be full of lockdowns, memorials and stuff?

Me: Yes, it probably will.  But don’t focus on that, just be a light in the world.  Always remember that there is more good than bad.  Always.

Our little family all celebrate birthdays in weeks filled with memorials of terrorist attacks, school shootings and now the Boston Marathon bombings.  We’ve found it’s best to just focus on ways that we can make the world a better place.  We spend the time surrounding our “special days” looking for the good in the world, finding reasons to smile, trying to share that happiness with others.  Yes, there are bad people out there, but they do not outnumber the good.  They never have, they never will.

Here are some moments that will restore your faith in humanity.

Take care, everyone!


I won at Car Line this morning

What?  You didn’t know Car Line was a game?  Well, it is.  Mainly because I’m a nerd-girl living with two hard-core gamers.  And I won this morning.

We started our quest to deliver a sleepy-eyed Peeshwank to his blustery prison sentence (it’s in the 20s today with a 10-degree wind chill, because: Spring in Arkansas, yo).  We turned the corner to see a line of campers all the way from one end of the school property to the other.  After discussing our strategy, we made our way to the front of the line.  Even though The Peeshwank had lots of loot to carry (60lb backpack, lunchbox, OM supplies, and his bass) we decided to show these n00bs how it was done.

We quickly realized we had apparently leveled up over Spring Break and were approaching an epic boss battle.  This boss: icy school driveway.

The boss had victimized not one but two vehicles ahead of ours – both of the players had apparently spent all their XP to upgrade their chariots: 4WD monster SUVs, tires bigger than The Peeshwank, NRA life memberships, etc.  Their giant wheels were spinning in place though.  The boss had disabled their special abilities.

The Peeshwank looked at me, a fearful look in his eyes, as I yelled “LEEROY JENKINSSSSSS” and easily delivered him over the ice and to the front door.

He threw me a fist bump as he exited our little mid-size sedan and I could hear his cry of “GET PWNED N00BS!” as I pulled away.

That’s how you win Car Line, y’all.

Hummer on Ice

My Geriatric Peeshwank

The other night something brought up the topic of pipes – I think it was some commercial for the local pipe shop.  You know the one that features some guy doing his best Cheech and Chong impersonation?  Peeshwank just rolled his eyes and said “Dude, we know you’re a pothead.”  I told him not to judge, because the shop possibly sold regular tobacco pipes too.

Peeshwank: You mean like the pipes old men smoke?

Me: Yeah.  Those are pretty popular with a certain crowd.

Peeshwank: They’re so cool looking.  I can’t wait to be an old man. I’m going to have an old-man-pipe and sit in my rocking chair on the porch in my red robe and my fuzzy slippers.  It’s going to be awesome.

I thought about The Peeshwank’s closet and the things he covets most in the world.

His assortment of bow ties and suspenders.  His collection of canes.  (Seriously, everywhere we go, “I wonder if they have a souvenir cane here?”)  His love of seersucker suits.  His disdain for all those “newfangled” cartoons that make no sense.  That damned robe he wears All.The.Time.

The Robe of Doom.  It's grown into its own lifeform.

The Robe.

There’s always “a nip in the air” and the desire to have a cat in his lap while he lounges.  He rolls his eyes when children get to screaming and yelling and acting like a bunch of… well… children.  He can yell, “Get off my lawn!” with the best of them.  He’s crotchety and persnickety in the morning, up until he has that first muffin.  He bakes bread and relishes in a nice bowl of soup by the fireplace.

When someone passes us at a high speed in a parking lot, he shakes his fist and yells, “Slow down!  It’s a parking lot not a racetrack, you heathen!”

He’s been known to say, “I just don’t understand kids these days” on many occasions.  I’ve heard him tell friends, “It’ll make sense when you’re older.”

He’s an 87-year-old man in a 12-year-old’s body.

Recently, he had a pain in his leg after a cross country meet.  One doctor told us he just pulled/tore some muscles and to walk on crutches for awhile.  When the pain still hadn’t gone completely away after two months of crutches, another doctor sent us to an orthopedic specialist.  More x-rays were done and it was discovered that The Peeshwank had a small fracture in his hip that was almost completely healed.

A broken hip.

Congratulations, Peeshwank.  You’ve officially earned your Old Man card.

IMG_2965 copy

What kinda hooligans would graffiti this wall? Hmmph. Kids. *grumble grumble*

The Peeshwank’s Now a Taxpayer

In the past, The Peeshwank has been paid for his acting gigs with free food, tickets, copies of movies, clothing, even candy.  This time around, he got paid via payroll.  The wide-eyed wonder of getting a paycheck in the mail was quickly overshadowed by four little letters…


“Who is this FICA and why are they getting part of my money?”

“Honey, you have to pay taxes on your wages.  That’s how America works.”

“This is crap.  Think of all the things I could’ve done with that money!”

“Like what?”  (We’re not talking a vast fortune here.)

“Like, oh, I don’t know… go to Golden Corral!” 

His cross country coach takes the team to Golden Corral after every track meet.  The children love it.  None of their parents had taken them there before they started track.  After the first meet they all wondered why they’d never gotten to bask in the fluorescent lighting that surrounds the almighty chocolate fountain.  We parents just wait for them to make their way back to the school and pretend that our kids aren’t eating from the bounty of bacteria that is the trough-style buffet after 40+ sweaty kids rifle through it.

Uncle Sam, you owe The Peeshwank a trip to Golden Corral.  Lord knows, I’m not taking him.

English: A chocolate fountain in Hong Kong

I’m just picturing all the kids lined up around it, sticking their tongues in it.

The Peeshwank Blogs About His Role in “Gordon Family Tree”

Sorry, I’ve become a less-than-daily blogger.  The Peeshwank’s been keeping me on my toes (and away from my computer) lately.  Here’s an entry he wrote for the Gordon Family Tree Movie blog.

Guest Blogger: Actor Brandon Dulaney – My First Feature!

And here’s a trailer for “Lasting the After,” a post-apocalyptic film he acted in recently.  (He’s the kid getting manhandled by the SWAT guys.  As a somewhat protective mom, it was not easy to watch during filming, but he was having a blast and would start giggling as soon as they called “cut,” so that helped ease my mind.)

Watching P work has made me proud of the young man he’s become.  He listens to his director and fellow actors and does what they need him to do.  If only I could get a movie director to come in and tell him to clean his room, pick up his laundry, and get off Minecraft for a little while each night…

My sweet boy

The Peeshwank’s Thoughts on Episode 1

A long time ago in a galaxy pretty close by…

A small child, The Peeshwank, fell in love with the Star Wars universe.  He started out with Episode IV (because I’m good at parenting like that) and made his way through the original trilogy.  When he was 4, Episode III came out and I agreed to allow him to come to the midnight premiere with me.  (He always did really well at the theater, so I knew he’d either fall asleep, or sit quietly in awe of the movie.  He’s been a film junkie from a very young age.)

When I was ready to head out to the theater, I called for him to hurry up so we wouldn’t be late.  He came out of his room in his Darth Vader costume.  Of course.  At the showing there were lots of Star Wars geeks in costume, but the best were the Stormtroopers who actually stopped what they were doing and stood at full attention as Darth P-Dog sauntered by them.  He’s 12 now and still remembers this fondly.

Not long ago one of the geeky channels that our tv is typically tuned to was airing a Star Wars marathon.  He hadn’t watched the new trilogy in awhile, so he sat down with his giant box of goldfish, prepared to be entertained for the day.

All was well until this happened…

That’s when the proverbial shit hit the fan.

“This kid is like the worst actor ever.”

“You know, George Lucas keeps remaking these, maybe he just needs to start over.  I could be a better Anakin than this guy.”

“I can’t watch this anymore.  Let me know when the other ones come on.  P-dog, out.”

There were lots of other… er… comments that were yelled at the screen in answer to pretty much anything poor little Ani said.  Maybe I’ll have to video him watching it sometime.  If I can convince him to watch it again.  But I almost doubt it after this conversation:

Me: “You know, you loved Episode I as a kid.”

P: “Well, I was a kid.  I had crappy taste.  Meesa thinks this is terrible now.”

Me: “You’re talking like Jar-Jar.”

P: “Oh, don’t even get me started on that idiot.”

I guess that settles that.

I do have to agree with him that he’d made a pretty excellent Anakin should George decide to remake it…

Sleepy little Anakin…