In Which I Discover What Kind of Videos My Teen Boy is Watching…

Posted on May 14, 2013 by jennmcclory

Every night at bedtime lately The Peeshwank lovingly hugs me and sneaks the tablet out of my hands and trots off to bed. When I ask him what he does, he just says, “Oh, watch videos or read on the kindle app.” He’s always been a trustworthy kid and whenever I check on him, there aren’t any crazy online shenanigans going on. The other day I finally discovered what’s been keeping him so engrossed though.

It wasn’t what I expected…

P: I saw this awesome thing the other night. It’s… (he begins describing some scientific concept my brain just couldn’t wrap itself around)

Me: Is that for real?

P: Yeah, I watched a video on it. It’s so awesome.

Me: Where did you see this? (Thinking it would be some sci-fi youtuber or something.)

P: Oh, it was on yesterday’s TED video, but it was so cool. They…

Me: Wait, you watch TED videos?

P: Yeah, every day. They’re awesome.

Me: Carry on.

Whew.

What I Read: April

Posted on May 1, 2013 by jennmcclory

The House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus

I was really surprised that a novel about a real estate mishap could’ve engrossed me as much as this did from the start. The switching points of view between recovering alcoholic/drug abuser Kathy Nicolo and former Colonel in the Iranian military Massoud Amir Behrani are written quite masterfully. The last 100 pages or so let me down somewhat. I finished reading it, but felt like the first half of the book was so much better written. I could’ve done without switching to Lester’s 3rd person point of view later in the book. As I was reading the last few chapters, I kept asking, “What!? But why? Seriously, why? WHY?!?” The characters reached a point where I just wanted to shake them. It’s a long read and can be quite tedious at times, but an interesting character study.

Sea of Monsters (Percy Jackson and The Olympians #2) by Rick Riordan

The Peeshwank and I read all of the Percy Jackson books together way back when they first came out. They were some of the first “real” books he read, so they hold a special place in my heart. Add to that how sweet Rick Riordan is in person and I can’t help but love the books. I decided to revisit this one in particular because the trailer for the long-awaited movie (seriously, these kids are gonna be 40 by the time we get to the last movie at the rate they’re going) was released this week and although it looks like Hollywood did a typical chop job of the source material, we’ll be going to see it because…

Captain Tightpants himself as Hermes. Y’all. Seriously.

And yes, they totally changed up the scene where Percy meets the Greek God of B~~ringing Sexy Back~~ Thieves (and fathering lots of half-bloods), but I prefer my Captain in a suit anyway. But, I digress. We’re talking about the book here. The book is… oh, who am I kidding? Captain Mal as a Greek God. Y’all. The swoon is strong with this one.

The Titan’s Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #3) by Rick Riordan
The Battle of the Labyrinth (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #4) by Rick Riordan
The Last Olympian (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #5) by Rick Riordan

Yeah, I ended up re-reading the rest of the series once I finished “Sea of Monsters”. It really is a fun children’s series. I always loved studying Greek mythology in school, so it’s amusing to see how Riordan plays with it and makes it work in our modern world. Sure they follow the Harry Potter formula – three friends battle evil and just when you think all hope is lost, some deus ex machina swoops in to save the day, but it’s fantasy fiction for kids so it doesn’t bother me. I think my favorite of the three is Labyrinth because, Briareus y’all! Last time I heard about how he was doing was when I read Dante. It’s always nice to run into old friends.

Double Identity by Margaret Peterson Haddix

I was looking for something to transition me back into more grown-up fare and grabbed this one out of The Peeshwank’s library. This is one of the hundreds of YA novels The Peeshwank has picked up at book fairs over the years. The cover intrigued me as soon as I saw it. (I’m a DNA/genetics nerd, big time.) It also clued me in as to what the big secret was regarding the main character’s identity. It’s a little predictable, but it was a quick, read-in-one-sitting book. It would be a good one for a tween/teen girl that likes to read about strong heroines. It also tackles some deeper themes like science vs. religion that I truly appreciated seeing in a book meant for a younger audience. That just doesn’t happen enough in YA lit.

Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami

Murakami loves to bend reality and send his readers on a metaphysical journey. I read 1Q84 last year and fell in love with it. I enjoy going into a book having absolutely no idea what to expect. This one did not disappoint. Murakami’s not for everyone, so unless you enjoy reading along and all of a sudden a main character is having a conversation with a cat, you may want to skip this one. His descriptions of Japan and Japanese life are absolutely beautiful. The settings in this story made me want to pack up and jump on a plane and follow in 15-year-old runaway, Kafka Tamura’s footsteps.

I’m almost done reading a sweeping epic of a book, but I don’t think I’ll have it finished today, so it’ll go on the May list. Until then, read a book or two and let me know if you find any that you positively adore.

Like these. (Another one will hopefully be joining them soon!)

The Peeshwank and The Lyrids: A Conversation

Posted on April 24, 2013 by jennmcclory

Living in a science-loving home we are all about meteor showers, comets, eclipses and all sorts of other night sky phenomena. The Peeshwank will drag the telescope out to the front yard to try to view all sorts of things. (Usually this takes place on the coldest nights of the year. Of course.)

This week, the Lyrid meteor shower promised to entertain us for a night. So we bundled up and took our place in the driveway and waited. And waited. And waited some more.

P: You know, on nights like these we should really live out in the the country.

Me: Yeah, the lights in town make it hard to see anything.

P: And if we’re out in the country watching for meteor showers that aren’t gonna show up, at least we wouldn’t have neighbors around wondering, “What are those idiots doing laying in the driveway again?”

Touche`, Peeshwank.

On The Peeshwank’s Birthday: Be A Light

Posted on April 19, 2013 by jennmcclory

This morning as we made our way to school, I reminded The Peeshwank that they were having a lockdown drill, so pay attention, listen for instructions, etc.

P: Is my birthday always going to be full of lockdowns, memorials and stuff?

Me: Yes, it probably will. But don’t focus on that, just be a light in the world. Always remember that there is more good than bad. Always.

Our little family all celebrate birthdays in weeks filled with memorials of terrorist attacks, school shootings and now the Boston Marathon bombings. We’ve found it’s best to just focus on ways that we can make the world a better place. We spend the time surrounding our “special days” looking for the good in the world, finding reasons to smile, trying to share that happiness with others. Yes, there are bad people out there, but they do not outnumber the good. They never have, they never will.

Here are some moments that will restore your faith in humanity.

Take care, everyone!

What I Read: March

Posted on April 3, 2013 by jennmcclory

The list for March is fairly short because I’ve been writing. Wanna see?

This is part two of my soon-to-be released book “The Last Girl”. I’ve been diligently trying to get it organized (it’s told in non-linear sequence) and edited so it will hopefully be available for public consumption in time for summer. I’m venturing into dystopian territory and I’m really nervous about how it will be received. Kind thoughts and good vibes are welcomed at this point.

But don’t worry, I still read a handful of books, so let’s get to it…

“Naked Picture of Famous People” by Jon Stewart

If you haven’t read Stewart’s collection of essays, you should. Just because it’s funny. Like pain in the side, make it stop I’m gonna pee myself funny. I decided I would read one essay a night before bed. The first night I read about a Jewish kid’s weekend at Hyannisport with a young JFK and couldn’t stop giggling. Even long after the better half had shut off the lights. I decided I should probably save it for another time of day since Joe probably wasn’t too thrilled with my bursts of laughter throughout the night. (One of the dangers of sleeping next to an insomniac – when they are lying awake and remember something hilarious, their giggling may wake you.) I’m sure Joe was happy that I hadn’t read the piece documenting Vincent Van Gogh’s foray into AOL chatrooms. I had tears flowing during that one. And yes, it has been out a very long time, so some of it may feel dated, but it’s still good for a laugh.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

The tale is much different from his classic “Remains of the Day”, but it’s just as beautifully written. It’s one of those stories that doesn’t fit well into a genre at all. It’s coming of age, Brit-lit with a sci-fi leaning. Yes, it sounds strange, but it’s really quite lovely and dark. (Yes, to me a well-written dark book is far more entertaining than happy books. I’m just weird like that.) If you’re going into it expecting groundbreaking sci-fi, you may be disappointed as it’s more “fi” than “sci”. So, willingly suspend your disbelief for this one.

I’ve not seen the movie, so I don’t know how it stacks up – in case you were wondering.

Joe Jones by Anne Lamott

Lamott (an author I absolutely adore) calls this book her “sloppiest”. I can understand. The structure, dialogue and character’s actions were just… odd. Still, I managed to get involved in it and while it’s certainly not my favorite book I’ve read, I enjoyed her descriptions of setting and character. For my writer friends, her book “Bird by Bird” is a must-read.

Last (and definitely least)…

Persona by Amy Lunderman

I’ve made it a point not to write negative reviews. I know what goes into writing a book, even a not-very-good one, so I don’t like to take away from what the author has done. But I couldn’t even finish this one (which says a lot, considering some of the clunkers I’ve read in my life). The book has a fine-enough premise which is one of the reasons I downloaded it. It was listed as dystopian, which really piqued my interest. The fact that the author forgot to capitalize her last name on the listing should’ve been a red flag. The grammar throughout the prologue and first chapter made me want to weep. There were sentences I had to read and re-read several times in order to figure out what the author was trying to say. In reading the reviews, several reviewers commented on the poor grammar and how it made the book unreadable. Several apologists (I assume the author’s friends/family) came along and said basically, if someone loves to write then the grammar shouldn’t matter. I say, “A big, hearty F-YOU to all of them.” If someone loves writing, their first priority should be learning the language they are writing in. A painter doesn’t go to paint a masterpiece without understanding how oils differ from acrylics or what brushes work best for what techniques. They learn their craft and spend time honing it. The language an author writes in is his/her medium and he/she should learn the ins and outs of it.

Or at least have the common decency to hire a fracking editor.

I love books, I love language, I love being surrounded by words. I have spent my entire life on a journey to fill my head with as much information about language as possible. Linguistics classes, literature studies, research, and reading. It’s a never-ending quest for me. When someone calls his/herself a writer, but has no respect for the language of their craft, it is an offense to those of us that do. This book and others like it are the reason why so many self-published authors are not taken seriously.

So, here’s to April and a month of good books!

A Letter to My LGBT Friends

Posted on March 27, 2013 by jennmcclory

Dear friends,

This note is in light of what’s been happening this week. No, I’m not talking about the Supreme Court hearings. What I’m talking about is the vast amounts of hatred I’ve seen aimed in your collective direction. (This is especially true for those of you living in the area where I am. Just the news stations’ facebook commentariat are enough to make me wanna relocate to another planet.) I can’t imagine what it’s like to hear such horrible things said about you and the people you love. To be thought of as so inferior as to have basic rights denied by the country that professes itself to be the “land of the free”. I will never know what it’s like to have my government/friends/family declare me unfit to marry the person I love. (Let’s face it, I’m a middle class heterosexual white chick in suburban America. I’m one Y-chromosome away from being “The Man.”) I feel fortunate in that, but also guilty when I see loving couples who want nothing more than the same rights I am afforded just because my brain is hard-wired to be attracted to nerdy white guys. Try as I did to be attracted to other types, I just couldn’t. I was born this way. Just like you. And yet, I’m not judged for it. It just doesn’t seem fair. Screw that. It ISN’T fair. At all.

I want you to know that you are always welcome in my life. My home is a place of love, caring, “Firefly” and “Sex and the City” reruns, cheap wine and compassion. It is a place where you will never have bumper sticker platitudes thrown at you to try to make you feel inferior. As a spiritual person, I will always love you as if you were my own flesh and blood. That’s what my God has called me to do. That and make you laugh. It’s my special superhero power (or so I’m told). I ask nothing in return. Well… if you’re one of my more fashion-forward gay bffs, I may ask your advice on what to wear when we go see “Wicked”. (Ahem, Jeremy, ahem.)

So carry on and know that you are loved and accepted and that you have allies out there that stand with you.

Kisses,

Jenn

For further reading on the subject, here’s a nice take from the NYT.

I won at Car Line this morning

Posted on March 25, 2013 by jennmcclory

What? You didn’t know Car Line was a game? Well, it is. Mainly because I’m a nerd-girl living with two hard-core gamers. And I won this morning.

We started our quest to deliver a sleepy-eyed Peeshwank to his blustery prison sentence (it’s in the 20s today with a 10-degree wind chill, because: Spring in Arkansas, yo). We turned the corner to see a line of campers all the way from one end of the school property to the other. After discussing our strategy, we made our way to the front of the line. Even though The Peeshwank had lots of loot to carry (60lb backpack, lunchbox, OM supplies, and his bass) we decided to show these n00bs how it was done.

We quickly realized we had apparently leveled up over Spring Break and were approaching an epic boss battle. This boss: icy school driveway.

The boss had victimized not one but two vehicles ahead of ours – both of the players had apparently spent all their XP to upgrade their chariots: 4WD monster SUVs, tires bigger than The Peeshwank, NRA life memberships, etc. Their giant wheels were spinning in place though. The boss had disabled their special abilities.

The Peeshwank looked at me, a fearful look in his eyes, as I yelled “LEEROY JENKINSSSSSS” and easily delivered him over the ice and to the front door.

He threw me a fist bump as he exited our little mid-size sedan and I could hear his cry of “GET PWNED N00BS!” as I pulled away.

That’s how you win Car Line, y’all.

Getting Out of My Comfort Zone

Posted on March 15, 2013 by jennmcclory

You know, sometimes you have these great intentions – you lie awake at night and say, “Tomorrow I’m going to challenge myself. I’m going to do something that scares me.” Then you wake up the next day and once the coffee starts flowing, it’s back to the same routine? Just me?

Last week I did one of those things. It was scary as hell, but I did it nonetheless.

In early February an acquaintance of mine put out the call for submissions for a show featuring live readings about motherhood. Last year I envied the women involved for having the guts to get up and share their stories about motherhood to a sold-out theater.

I spent twenty-four hours pumping myself up. I had a piece ready to go. It had already been signed off by my partners-in-crime/rocks-that-I-lean-on, Tina and Pam. They gave me pointers and told me I’d be fabulous.

I submitted.

Three weeks later, I was asked to attend the live auditions. Those happened Saturday.

I got up a little early to make sure I had time to apply make-up and dry my hair (read the previous blog post for more on that ordeal). I picked out a cute dress, realized that I didn’t have a perfect pair of shoes other than flip-flops to go with it, and quickly changed into my “safe” outfit – black sweater, black pinstripe pants, a pair of my favorite heels.

The trip down to the auditions was riddled with traffic and I showed up only minutes before my scheduled time. A fellow author friend (Hi, Phyl!) was waiting for me to give me hugs and encouragement. We chatted a bit and then I trekked up the stairs.

The ladies casting the show welcomed me and I took a seat, thinking, “no big deal. I’ll just read and be done.” But the second I started to read, my anxiety issues took the driver’s seat and for the first few paragraphs I could basically hear my voice quavering and see my hands shaking and I was powerless to do anything about it. I was knee-deep in the middle of a panic attack. I stopped, took a deep breath and apologized. The ladies were understanding about my pause and I went on. The voice shaking slowly subsided and by the second page of my story, I felt I had it under control.

I got some polite laughs from my small audience and made it through the piece without crying, passing out, or vomiting so I’m calling it a win. As soon as I was done, I was able to chat perfectly fine, like the panic attack never happened. I’ll never understand this body of mine. Seriously. I can sing to a packed bar, tap dance to a full theater, jump onstage and dance with Sir Mixalot while my roommate ceremoniously slaps his ass as he charms the concert goers with his tales of big butts, and coach a gaggle of OMers through spontaneous practice. But sitting and reading to three people = panic attack.

So, here’s to trying something new! Yes, it can be scary, and like me you may be turned down when it’s all said and done, but challenging yourself is rarely a walk in the proverbial park.

Now, I’m off to take The Peeshwank to yet another in a long line of auditions that he will breeze right through. Clearly the “audition with the greatest of ease” gene skips a generation in this family.

Next time, I’ll just take a flask with me.

Yes, the Sir Mixalot thing actually happened. And it was just as awesome as it sounds.

Top 5: Signs Your Hair is Too Long

Posted on March 13, 2013 by jennmcclory

I decided awhile back to grow my hair to donate to Locks of Love or some other similar wigs-for-cancer-patients charity. My hair grows really fast, so I figured I’d let it grow a little while, cut it, and smile in the fact that I’ve done something nice for someone else.

But right when I was ready to get back to my normal just-under-the-chin length, the better half let me know that he really liked it long. So I decided to continue growing it, that way when I cut the requisite 12″ off to donate, I would still have enough length to keep him happy.

I realized this weekend just how far I’ve let it go…

So, here are some signs you need to pick up the phone and make an emergency call to your stylist:

5. You have to pin it up to go to the bathroom. (Sitting down on the ends is one thing. Sitting down on them on the potty… EWWW! Disclaimer: This has NOT happened to me personally. Swear.)

4. It gets caught in your waist band when getting dressed. (I wore a tie-back dress the other day and damn-near gave myself whiplash when I bent down to put on my shoes.)

3. Your shampoo budget rivals the car payment. (The better half figured out that I had been dipping into his shampoo stash. It’s hard to sneak increased hair product usage past someone who has very little hair to speak of.)

2. You’d put your hair in a cute sock bun, but when you pull it straight up, you can’t reach the ends. (Two words: arm cramps.)

and…

1. The last time you saw your stylist was right before she went on maternity leave. Her “baby” is now two. (Actually she’s almost 2 and 1/2, but who’s counting?)

I think the better half will be okay with my decision to go back to my usual short length. I suspect he’s tired of getting slapped in the face with half-wet hair every time I toss and turn at night. I’m sure the fact that I start singing “I whip my hair back and forth” whenever it happens doesn’t help matters either.

Hi, I’m here for my 1:30 shampoo, cut and style.

I Whip My Hair Back and Forth (the best version)

What I Read: February

Posted on March 1, 2013 by jennmcclory

A short month, so a shorter list:

The Professor and The Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity and the Making of the Oxford, English, Dictionary by Simon Winchester

The title pretty much sums it up. It’s not a mystery, but rather a tale of how the OED came into existence. For any fellow “word nerds” like myself who are fascinated with linguistics and philology, it’s a must read.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo

I’m a little behind in jumping on the Coehlo bandwagon, but better late than never, right? This is a deceptively simple story of a young boy’s journey to achieve his “Personal Legend”. While at times it’s almost too simple, the story encourages us to follow our dreams. While I understand the popularity of the book, I too can understand the feeling of dissent amongst its harshest critics. It’s definitely a love it/hate it novel.

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

I’ve been wanting to read this one for a long time and finally took the time to sit and read it. I thought due to its size that it would be one that took awhile to finish. I was wrong. I was unable to put it down for two days straight. It’s truly a story unlike anything I’ve ever read before. It’s sad, hilarious, ironic, hopeful and tragic. I honestly had no idea what to expect and I loved it. All the praise Eugenides has received for this epic is justly deserved. And how did I not realize that he had written “The Virgin Suicides“? He may have to move up on my list of favorite writers.

Cover of Middlesex: A Novel

Cat’s Eye by Margaret Atwood

This is a story about an artist and her upbringing in Toronto in the 40s and 50s. She returns later in life and is haunted by memories of the girlfriends she grew up with. It was so gloriously haunting and infuriating and hilarious, I loved it. Atwood has been one of my favorite authors for years and this one did not disappoint. At first glance, the story is a world away from her more popular dystopian offerings, but dig a little deeper and those same themes start showing up in more subtle ways.

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

This is my third “viewing” of Huxley’s brilliant futuristic novel. It still amazes me to think that he wrote such a frightening vision of the future in 1932 that still holds true today (even Orwell’s masterpiece, 1984, contains bits that feel dated in this era of internet/cell phones). There’s a reason it’s considered a modern classic. It’s definitely got staying power.

March may be a sketchy reading month for me as I really need to buckle down and finish the final edits of “The Last Girl” (my own venture into dystopian fiction). The Peeshwank also has lots on his plate that will keep me running around like mad to keep up. But YEAH for Spring Break! Have a great reading month everyone!

jenn mcclory, novelist

Author, Mommy, Disaster of Mild Proportions

Author Archives: jennmcclory