In the past, The Peeshwank has been paid for his acting gigs with free food, tickets, copies of movies, clothing, even candy.  This time around, he got paid via payroll.  The wide-eyed wonder of getting a paycheck in the mail was quickly overshadowed by four little letters…

FICA.

“Who is this FICA and why are they getting part of my money?”

“Honey, you have to pay taxes on your wages.  That’s how America works.”

“This is crap.  Think of all the things I could’ve done with that money!”

“Like what?”  (We’re not talking a vast fortune here.)

“Like, oh, I don’t know… go to Golden Corral!” 

His cross country coach takes the team to Golden Corral after every track meet.  The children love it.  None of their parents had taken them there before they started track.  After the first meet they all wondered why they’d never gotten to bask in the fluorescent lighting that surrounds the almighty chocolate fountain.  We parents just wait for them to make their way back to the school and pretend that our kids aren’t eating from the bounty of bacteria that is the trough-style buffet after 40+ sweaty kids rifle through it.

Uncle Sam, you owe The Peeshwank a trip to Golden Corral.  Lord knows, I’m not taking him.

I’m just picturing all the kids lined up around it, sticking their tongues in it.