Everything I need to know about Minecraft I learned from eavesdropping.

My boys (40-something and 11) have been sucked into Minecraft.

My writing nook is situated in such a way that I get to hear their conversations as I facebook twitter play plants vs. zombies work on my next novel.

Some overheard snippets of their conversations:

Preston: “Why don’t I have anything?”

Joe: “You have to punch a tree.  That starts your industry.”

***

Preston: “This is a nice house.”

Joe: “It’s just a room.  With a trunk.  And a duck.”

Preston: “I made that duck.”

Joe: “It’s a nice duck.”

(5 minutes later.)

Joe: “ACK!”

Preston: “What?”

Joe: “The duck pushed me into the lava!”

I'd sleep with one eye open if I were you...

***

Preston: “Look at me.  Now look at Joe.  Now look at me.  I’m on a pig.”

***

Joe: “Why do you have a bed on the very edge like that?!?”

Preston: “I live on the edge!”

Joe: “Well, don’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed.”

***

Preston: “Oh no, the pig is here!!!”

The pig knows what you did...

***

Preston: “Did you find lava today?”

Joe: “Yes.”

Preston: “Lucky.  I found lava the other day, but there was a chicken…”  (quiet angsty mumbling)  “…stupid chicken.”

***

P’s friend C: “Where are you?”

Preston: “In my treehouse.”

P’s friend C: “Cool.  That’s a big tree.  Be careful!  That jockey skeleton can totally get into your house.”

***

Preston: “I’m going to blow this lava up.”

Joe: “Why?”

Preston: “To see if it makes it go away.”

(30 seconds later)

Preston: “IT JUST MADE MORE LAVA!”

"MY GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?"

***

So basically, Minecraft is a game in which you can ride around on nefarious pigs, punch trees to get stuff, skeletons are short guys that ride racehorses that can climb trees, and birds are a-holes who will push you into lava.  (Much like in real life I might add.  Birds are evil, y’all.)

And then there’s this:

This house is not a home...

G4 is totally going to hire me to be a stand-in for Morgan Webb now.  After all we’re both brunette, totally hot, and geeky.  Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

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